Be Careful What You Wish For

Don't get me wrong, having a crush is brilliant. It gives you all kinds of motivation to work out, groom, diet and do potentially useless cosmetic undertakings such as facial masks (becuase truly at what other time, now that we've unfortunately outgrown slumber parties, does one even consider the mask application).

The crush also provides hours and hours of daydreaming about the perfect life that lies ahead - although being the realist that I am, I try to throw in a fight now and again that we swiftly resolve thusly making our relationship stronger. The joy, the laughter, the fields (why are fields always in daydreams? in reality, the opportunities to roll about in a bed of wildflowers are incredibly rare, at least in my world).

Then the most incredible thing happens - crush responds and seems eager to go out. After the initial jumping up and down, screaming and waving of hands above head like a Beatles groupie on crack, a slow onslaught of anxiety, doubt and fear begins to creep in to those once perfectly formed daydreams. It's a rollercoaster of anxiety and bliss that could make even a stomach of steel relieve itself of its contents. A call (OMG OMG OMG JUMP JUMP SCREAM BREATHE, answer 'hello?') followed by a terribly awkward conversation (which has been subsequently repeated and dissected for potential wrong turns and deal breakers) leads to a dawning unease about what could become a reality  - what do I say? what do I wear? do i even know this guy? This embryonic stage that those in relationships miss the most I think is the part of the process most of us would like to bypass when we're going through it.

I once read an incredible quote by Augusten Burroughs that said "You know you're in love when you no longer feel the need to perform an autopsy on each date". I can't wait until that day comes! In the meantime, Ill be rummaging through my wardrobe (ALEX HELP!) trying to find the perfect outfit that says 'Oh is this sexy? I didnt even realise'...